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Welcome to Club-Anime by Lia | DALnet #anime editorials

Welcome to Club-Anime

I tried to make it an island paradise, but certain powers behind the scenes indicated to me via threats of bodily harm that the last place they want to vacation is on a tropical island. So in light of that, the club has been moved to Connecticut... we've relocated to photek's basement.

Ok, ok. By now you've figured out that you have no idea where you are. That blindfold we made you wear on the way over was to conceal our location. I doubt you'll care once you see what we have in store for you. As you enter our grand estate, the first thing that greets you is expansive lovely flower gardens. Quaint little stone paths meander through this lush environment, with the occasional fountain or hedge carefully trimmed to show Mokona getting stabbed through serving to break up the tranquility.

If all this flowery crap makes you want to puke, just take this path straight through to our fully outfitted mechanic's garage. We've got numerous sports cars for gearheads to work on an soup up. You might find Macky Stingray inside working on a motodroid. He's more than happy to work for free in exchange for nighttime access to the hentai library. Oh, good eye. That side entrance leads you down underground to our mecha hangar. There's always a few units waiting and ready to fly out to wreak some carnage on a major city.

Inside it is. Oh? That's just one of our many catgirl domestic servants. Personally trained by Nuku Nuku herself. Just be careful before going on any bike rides with them. If you do get injured though, stop by and see our resident Nurse Nanako. We tried Sailor Venus out at the position but very few patients survived the week.

To the left you see our Rec-room complete with full service bar. You can get all flavors of Kool-Aid, some soda which has been permanently renamed "pop" by decree of the club owner, and of course a wide variety of alcoholic drinks you're sure to need if Kamiya Kaoru happens to be cooking tonight. Don't worry though, KFC is open 24/7 and reasonably priced. Feel free to take your drink out back to the patio and swimming pool.

That small door there is our Anime vault, containing a copy of every anime ever made. It's locked for obvious reasons. You can check out a film with our Vault Keeper. Anything checked out can be viewed in our private movie theatre. If the gang from Mystery Science Theatre 3000 gets too loud, feel free to dump your "pop" over their heads.

Yes I agree, it's a fine facility. You haven't even seen our luxury bedrooms upstairs yet. Where are all the people? Why, they're in the most popular room of the estate of course. It's right this way. As you can see the computer lab is jam packed. You've got your counter strike players over there, and your chatters grouping in that corner. The porn surfers are in back, and people porting linux over to Tiger Handhelds of Mortal Kombat two are in that corner with all the squealing.

Yes, it's a fine club if I do say so myself.

Sunday, February 17, 2002

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